Icebreakers Aren't Fun for Everyone — Here's Why
In this video, Dr. Justin Baeder explains why mandatory icebreakers can be uncomfortable or exclusionary for some staff members, not just boring.
Key Takeaways
- Not everyone enjoys forced socializing - Introverts and people with social anxiety find mandatory icebreakers stressful, not fun
- Inclusivity means considering all preferences - Activities designed to build community can alienate the people they're meant to include
- Offer alternatives - Giving staff options for how to engage shows more respect than requiring the same activity for everyone
Transcript
All right, everyone, welcome back.
I'm so glad to see everybody.
We're going to kick things off for our professional development week with a fun little icebreaker.
So if you would, please gather into groups of four, and I want you to share your ACE score, your Adverse Childhood Experiences score.
So just go around the table, say how many adverse childhood experiences you had, and pick out your favorite.
Tell us what your favorite adverse childhood experience was, okay?
Okay.
All right, so all kidding aside, if you have ever been in an awkward icebreaker, you know what I'm talking about.
And hopefully it wasn't that bad.
Hopefully it wasn't actual trauma that you're being asked to discuss.
But I have heard of that being used, and I think this kind of thing is more common than some of us would like to admit.
We've got to stop with the icebreakers.
I think there are a few good things that can be done that are a good use of time.
But I think we've also got to recognize that icebreakers are deeply uncomfortable for lots of people.
They do not actually break the ice.
They make the whole process of getting together with a group of your colleagues more difficult and more awkward and more stressful.
So just recognize that if you like icebreakers, You have a particular personality.
You are a particular kind of person who finds it funny and enjoyable to be uncomfortable.
Just recognize that other people do not find that enjoyable.
They do not find it funny.
They do not find it fun.
They do not find it a good way to bond with their colleagues.
They find it deeply painful and awkward, and in some cases, a way of revisiting past trauma.
And it took me a long time to really understand that that was what was happening with icebreakers for some people.
But I think a lot of comments here have really indicated that that is what is happening with a lot of icebreakers.
So my recommendation is, again, skip the icebreaker or keep it very, very short and really watch out for things that are going to make people uncomfortable, that are going to bring up stuff that people would rather have behind them, things from their childhood, things from their family life.
And just remember, everybody has baggage about something.
Even if I don't, even if you don't, somebody does.
So let's just keep that in mind as we start the school year.