Welcome to the Department of EDU-phemisms
In this video, Dr. Justin Baeder uses humor to highlight how education loves to rename problems rather than solve them.
Key Takeaways
- Renaming isn't solving - Calling suspension 'restorative time-out' doesn't change the underlying practice
- Euphemisms hide failures - Replacing clear language with jargon makes it harder to have honest conversations about what's working
- Just say what you mean - Plain language in education policy would force more honest discussions about what schools actually do
Transcript
Department of ED euphemisms, how can I help you?
Yes, you want to rename your homeroom?
Yes, you've come to the right place.
That is exactly the kind of thing we specialize in.
So thank you for calling today.
Tell me a little bit about why you're looking to rename your homeroom, period.
No, no real reason?
Okay.
I am required to ask.
Yeah, it does not need to be a good reason, no.
Okay, well, yeah, cuteness, that's honestly the number one answer that we get.
Yes, you want a cute name for your homeroom.
Okay, what is your school mascot?
The Warriors, okay.
So I think we're gonna go the route of an acronym.
I think an acronym is really our best plan here, and I get a bonus if I come up with an acronym for you, so yeah.
So I'm thinking, here's what I got.
I'm thinking Warriors Innovating Now.
Does that sound good?
Okay, now there's one more question I need to ask you before we can proceed.
Are you going to actually change anything about the functioning of your homeroom?
It's going to stay exactly the same, or what's the plan?
No changes at all?
Okay, just wanted to make sure.
I am required to document that.
All right, so Warriors, innovating now it is.
Thank you so much for calling the ED Euphemisms Hotline.
Talk to you later.
ED Euphemisms Hotline, how can I help you?
You want to rename kindergarten nap time.
All right.
Well, let's see.
And can I ask the reason for the rebrand?
Just to be cute.
Okay.
Just making sure.
Let's see.
Do you have a theme for this year for your school?
Okay, something about bees, beekeeper, beehive.
Okay, how about, hear me out of this.
How about buzz for nap time?
It could be believing, belonging, and then the last two letters could just be Zs for the actual napping.
Does that work for you?
Buzz time?
All right, congratulations.
Nap time is now buzz time.
Thanks so much for calling the ED Euphemisms Hotline.